Which of the two phrases below sounds better?
“Ask not what your country can do for you—ask what you can do for your country.”
“Do not ask your country what it can do for you. Instead, ask yourself what you can do for your country.”
While both phrases convey the same message, most people would agree that the first one does it better than the second. It’s not only shorter and easier to read, it’s easier on the ear. The words have a rhythm that allow them to resonate, connect with the reader (or listener) and become more memorable. Perhaps it’s one reason why John F. Kennedy chose the former phrasing—and not the latter—in his inaugural address. Of all the memorable phrases in that famous speech, it may be the reason why that is the one people remember most.
How you say something is as important as what you say. If content is king, then delivery is its scepter, crown and cape. The most brilliant ideas, prescient insights and important information are all for naught if their presentation is wooden and hackneyed. Dull language, like dull blades, cannot cut through clutter and into the hearts of minds of target audiences.
Given that, why does so much of the language in law firm marketing have all the power, feeling and interest of a subpoena?
In their marketing, law firms seek to accomplish a variety of objectives: convey how they benefit their clients, assure clients of their expertise in and knowledge of their industries, impress clients with their legal experience and success, and show how they are different from every other law firm seeking to do the same thing. Most of all, law firms seek to portray themselves as intelligent and competent. As a result, they tend to communicate in both the language of law and the language of business.
Funny thing about “business-speak” and “legalese”—they have a habit of expressing things in complicated, convoluted ways that often cause the reader to lose interest. In marketing, that which is difficult or uninteresting to read simply does not get read. And as the great ad man David Ogilvy once said about copy that doesn’t get read, “You cannot save souls in an empty church.”
Good writing comes from a combination of good content, clarity (being concise and organized) and style. Legal marketing—and professional services marketing in general—is not lacking for good content. Clarity can be achieved through judicious editing. Style, however, is where much of legal marketing falls flat, with content often resorting to pedantic prose. It’s unfortunate, because style is what makes the message memorable. What is needed in order to connect with and compel audiences is more poetry and less pedantry.
Poetry and legal marketing are usually thought of as mutually exclusive. In fact, poetry—or poetic construction—is often met with a mixture of distrust and ridicule, dismissed for “lacking clarity” and as so much “creative puffery.” However, the rules of good poetry writing are as applicable to good business prose as verse. Poetry isn’t just about metaphors, similes and flowery language. It also has to do with getting the structure, rhythm and balance of the phrasing right, the nuances and, for want of a better word, the “artistry” of language. That is the poetry we are discussing here. The structure and rhythm of words can give them greater power and make what is written more memorable. Simply reading aloud what has been written can be tremendously effective in ensuring that legal marketing prose not only flows and communicates accurately in an understandable fashion, but also has resonance and impact.
Let’s take a look at another example. When it comes to corporate law and transactions, nearly every law firm claims that they are innovative and that they understand their clients as well as their objectives. No matter how valid this claim may be, it is often expressed in something resembling this manner:
“Our attorneys understand the needs and goals of businesses today. Our deep knowledge of clients’ businesses allows us to provide innovative solutions and strategic thinking focused on success.”
Okay, the above bit of copy doesn’t exactly stink, but neither does it sing. There is little power or passion behind the words. It sounds rote, and therefore lacking in conviction. It’s what clients want to hear, but does it make them believe?
Now let’s try it another way:
“We put ourselves in your shoes in order to understand not only what makes your business tick, but where it’s headed. That knowledge allows us to develop new strategies that can better guide you to success.”
Both paragraphs convey the same message and are approximately the same length—but it’s the delivery that makes the difference. The second version not only speaks directly to the reader (the references to “you” and “your business”), there is a balance to the structure of the words that create a rhythm in the phrasing. For example:
We put ourselves in your shoes /
in order to understand /not only what makes your business tick, /
but where it’s headed.
That knowledge allows us to /
develop new strategies /
that can better guide you to success.
Broken out this way, we see that the first three lines of both sentences follow a 7/7/9 rhythm pattern. The words in the message have been chosen for their balance as well as for their meaning. There is a cadence to the language that creates a rhythm which, whether the reader realizes it or not, captures their attention and compels them to keep reading. It creates a pattern in which each line cues the next. Furthermore, rhythm gives the message a little more energy, the words a little more power, which makes it all a lot more memorable. And isn’t that really the goal—to create marketing that’s memorable?
In the most powerful writing—advertising included—it’s not just the words we remember, but also their rhythm and flow. The choice of words and the order in which they are placed in a sentence can make all the difference. While a word can be absolutely correct as far as its meaning, if it stands in the middle of a sentence like a concrete block on a busy freeway it is nevertheless wrong. Incorporating some of the rules of poetry into your marketing message will not only encourage a precision in language and make the message more readable, it will make it more memorable as well.
Reprinted from Marketing the Law Firm's The Business of Branding column, October 2011. Permission granted by the Law Journal Newsletters.
